someday i'm going to die

It's going to be sad I guess. I have a feeling it's going to be exciting. But I can't get too interested in death. Life is cool too, it's just such a drag sometimes. Ending your life sometimes sounds like a good idea, sometimes it even sounds logical. It's the ultimate change in consciousness. Some members of the DADA movement killed themselves as an artistic act.

Please don't think i'm going to kill myself. That whole thing "ALL TALK ABOUT SUICIDE IS CAUSE FOR ALARM" they taught you in 9th grade health class is bullshit. They also told us that marijuana was a dangerous drug and we should never be friends with anyone who uses it.

I wouldn't commit suicide and this is why: the ability to witness the universe (or whatever it is) as I can now is a worthy reason to keep consciousness. Reality may be intangible, difficult to understand, or non-existant, but whatever it is has interested me. 

I'm also a coward. 

and at the end of the week, those couple moments of freedom, excitement and brilliance make all the countless letdowns and fuck-ups worth it. 

Read Camus's Myth of Sisyphus. Best answer i've read to the suicide question. 

I understand why people do it. Sometimes it makes too much sense. Too deny this is to be an idiot. Some lives are probably so horrid that suicide really is the best way out. 

Death is the ultimate experience of the unknown and we suffer through our whole lives to get there. But just in case it's another bum trip I wan't to have a nice life behind me. 

End.