I have little to say these days. My mood has been nihilistic and uninspired; I guess you can say my life isn't at the point where I'm burning with passion and excitement.
Living in this culture that fuels rampant greed and narcissism depresses me and I can see how it's leaking into my own self. I don't have any great ideas on how to fix it, in fact I'm completely clueless and nothing that's been proposing to me has warranted much other than laughter from me. My idealism of the past has been replaced by a lazy and jaded attitude that sees little hopes in dreams of a utopian future.
A utopian future doesn't even interest me anymore - such a thing seems more dull and oppressive than the capitalist tyranny we have now - no suffering? no incentive to rebel? Suffering and rebellion are essential to all human creativity that isn't pure scientific and technological progress. A world without suffering sounds desolate and simply boring, a greyscale pleasure prison.
The angst and alienation I feel is typical, I realize this. I don't have any delusions of individuality and uniqueness like I used to, I'm just another anonymous voice helpless whispering into the collective information network of the human race.
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